As a techno-optimist, I generally fall on the side of most technologies being good things, be it computers, social media, AI, etc. That said, the last week and a half I started to notice more than ever a growing urge rearing it’s head every time I popped over to facebook, twitter, and the social web. The wrapping up of Bernie Sanders’ campaign hopes, dangers of statism, the vitriol of Trump (and his detractors), the tragedy in Orlando, the downfall of Gawker, it’s been a hell of a polarizing week online. Whatever the topic, seeing ANY opinions that weren’t exactly aligned with mine have started to make me more and more reactionary.
Sitting with my reactivity the last days, I feel pretty clearly it’s just the simple urge to be right, to know that my perspective is more whole and complete then the one I’m reacting to.
Now I’m wondering, why do I give such a shit about being right? What does it matter if my political view, musical taste, or transformational path is better than this other one?
The answer, I’m afraid, is as cliche as they come: FEAR.
I want to be right, I now feel, because if I’m right, and things out there don’t go the way I wish, it’s the world’s fault. Not my own. I am released from responsibility, and ironically feel more in control knowing there’s nothing I can do.
Feeling into the opposite feels far more challenging and scary. What if I’m wrong?
In wrongness I feel less in control.
In wrongness the responsibility lies on ME to change, grow, and integrate.
In wrongness I must face the void of not knowing how the world should work, how I should show up in it, and whether or not I’m making the right decisions.
In wrongness I feel less safe.
Being wrong feels more dangerous, more uncomfortable, and more threatening.
It also feels more important. How easy it would be for me to spend my time in a bubble of being right, only hearing that which aligns with what I know to be true.
Instead, I realize I want to take that urge to be right, take that certainty, and transmute it into further understanding of how things really are.
What if I’m missing something?
What might I not being seeing or understanding?
How am I wrong?
Please teach me!