As I grow older, I’ve started to notice a subtle energy in my awareness. A pulse. A beat. A quickening.
As a man, I have the innate privilege of not being confronted with with the same biological clock as women. While advances in medical health are retiming that clock more and more every year, it’s definitely real, and definitely present for many of the women I know in my life.
While I know I don’t have limitless time in the biological sense, I don’t feel tremendous urgency there.
So I’ve been listening to and wondering what then that energy at the edge of my awareness is, and now more than ever think I know.
I have a purpose clock. I think we all do. Another heartbeat, growing louder and louder over time: Am I Gifting the world? Am I nudging this Kosmos closer to more goodness, truth, and beauty? What am I creating of impact?
As each day passes, the more I can feel the weight of how my decisions matter. I don’t have endless time, and creation takes time.
For some, I think the purpose clock is closely aligned with their biological clock – literally bringing life into the world through children. I feel that will be true for me at some point in the future, but for me first comes artistic birth. The creation of stories and artifacts in the world.
I’ve avoided feeling this clock much of my life, there’s a certain tension, discomfort, and urgency to it when I really drop in – I don’t know how long I’ll be here, and there will likely never be a perfect time or perfect project to start.
There’s only one relief to that tension, and it can only be found in the now.
Come back and watch my first feature this time next year.
What’s your purpose clock telling you?