5 years ago today I rolled into Los Angeles in the mighty Truckzilla. A full life in Boulder in my rear view mirror, a fuller life in LA ahead of me on the horizon. I was resistant to moving here for a long time, partially because I’d been spoiled by the idyllic little paradises of Santa Cruz and Boulder (and hate driving), and partially because I knew that in this town, I’d have no excuses left.
Everything I want to do, everything I want to become, it’s here in LA. Walking over the stars in hollywood on a misty night last November, I remember falling in love with all of the people around me. Bros, skaters, plastics, hipsters, film geeks, burnouts, nerds like me, “these are my people” I thought. I’m not really hippie, but not really mainstream. I’m LA. It’s a mad dirty city infused with mountains and open space. It shouldn’t work, but it generally does.
It’s the most diverse town I’ve ever lived in – there’s is absolutely no “right” way to live here. It’s also the most challenging town I’ve ever lived in. Anything is possible here, but next to nothing “just happens” here. Serendipity here is a result of commitment. More than anywhere else I’ve lived, it requires strong intention to do anything, meet with friends for a drink, break into the business, going for a hike, whatever. That same energy, however, it also what makes it a town of dreamers. So many folks are going for “it”, whatever their it is: artist, healer, teacher, actor, musician, filmmaker. Not everyone will make it, but all are sure as hell trying.
It’s been a difficult transition since moving here. Nothing has happened as quickly as I’d have liked. I’m consistently feeling the places in myself where I still have so much growth to do. That said, 5 years in seeds are blossoming. Since moving here, I’ve finally made my first film I can call my own, stepped into a leadership position in the community dear to me, loved and been loved by another like I’d never been before, and become utterly clear on my purpose in life. While film will be the delivery format, my passion and purposes run deeper than that:
I’m here to help others feel more deeply while seeing new perspectives on themselves, our culture, and the universe.
Monday I deliver a very rough outline of my first real screenplay to my Men’s Group. My voice is emerging, and unsurprisingly all the things I find myself writing about are all the places of growth and gold in my own life. Writing, growing, and living are starting to feel one and the same for me.
I look forward to typing the words “it’s done” here by the end of this year. All it takes now is showing up, and having faith in the rest.
See you at the multiplex.